Can Sex Sustain a Relationship

Author:  Counselor FENYI

This is one of the toughest questions I have ever been asked in my counselling profession. Most ladies complain that their boyfriends almost always demand sex from them and sometimes threaten to break-up with them if they refuse. Now be minded that, not all men who come into your life have the intent of marrying you. Some actually think you are very 'seductive' and 'sexy' so would like to just get into your pant and nothing more.

To the men who merely see you as 'sexy' and 'seductive', sex provides an incentive to continue the relationship. To them, sex is the most important thing. In fact, some men argue that apart from sex, all other roles their girlfriends perform in their lives can be provided by their sisters and other female friends. So to them, sex is what actually distinguishes a girlfriend from a sister or a mere female friend.

Some men too have oriented their minds that they cannot live without sex. To such, it's strictly two options; that is, you provide them sex or you quit. On the contrary, I think every man can live without sex. Sex is not a basic necessity and has never been classified as such.

Plainly speaking, *sex cannot sustain a relationship.* Actually, sex is not suppose to be a part of any relationship so it shouldn't even be a topic for discussion. Any man who quits a relationship just because of sex is really not serious and doesn't know the true essence of dating.

What sustains a relationship is *mutual respect and trust.* The day sex happens, trust is reduced. The man begins to feel insecured and imagines that his girlfriend can equally give in to another man. Immediately the trust is breached, your relationship is likely to break down. Never offer sex as a way of sustaining your relationship, it does more harm done good.

Men indeed respect ladies who are so hard to get in bed. No man would love to settle down with a 'cheap' lady and they define 'cheapness' by how hard or easy they get the woman to bed. Offer him sex anytime, anyday, anyhow and anywhere your boyfriend demands for it and he'll call you a 'cheap' lady.

Also, in the mind of a man, a lady who respects him loves him. Men value respect so much. Respect your man and he'll always be there for you. Don't give him unnecessary challenge and competition. Complement him. Let him feel you are an addition to his life and he will make you feel like a queen.

These are what sustain a relationship, *respect and trust,* not *sex.*

Thank you for reading.

_The writer, *Counselor Daniel Arkoh Fenyi* is a relationship, education and career choice specialist. If you need *counselling or direction* on anything, Call or Whatsapp Him on *+233242937O17*_

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