Hi Counselor FENYI,
*Am Ama Serwaa from Aburi Girls S.H.S. Please Sir, Is it right for an S.H.S student to have a boyfriend?*
*Counselor FENYI:* My dear, really, there is no scientific standard age or level suitable for dating. The basic qualification is *emotional maturity,* not age or level of education. In fact, a lady is most beautiful and active between ages 16-25 years. In this range, you attract all kinds of men to you, seize the opportunity to make the best choice for yourself. After this age range, only *luck* can make you meet an *ideal husband.* However, combining your schooling and relationship with all its complications can be unbearably tough. I would rather you focus on your studies.
*Ama Serwaa: Counselor, what's emotional maturity?*
*Counselor FENYI:* Emotional maturity is when you can be in a secret place with your boyfriend alone and *not have sex, kiss or any romantic affair.* It is when you can boldly tell your boyfriend "no sex till marriage". It is when you can tell your guy "please, call me later, I am learning". When you are about to write an examination like WASSCE, etc and your guy *breaks up* with you, can you still write the exams with a stable mind? That is emotional maturity. Matters of the heart and love are very delicate, if you are not careful, your academic life can be jeopardised and your dreams will be shattered.
*Ama Serwaa: So Counselor, what are some of the activities I can do with my boyfriend as an SHS student?*
*Counselor FENYI:* Serwaa, obviously, your question shows you wish to start a relationship. Well, there are several sex-free activities you can do together. Eg. taking a stroll at the beach, going on window shopping, watching a movie at the cinema hall, go watch a theatre show, go for a musical concert, play games together (like ludu, chess, hide-and-seek, computer/phone games), attend seminars, watch or listen to TV/radio programmes together, discuss academic issues, pray together, etc. Be minded though that, these activities can waste precious time you can use to study your books.
*Ama Serwaa: Counselor, these activities can sometimes be boring, can my guy and I have sex, at least once?*
*Counselor FENYI:* At least once? No. Sex has a natural magic that you may never be able stop once you start. Once you start, you can easily become an addict. I suggest you refrain from it completely and *focus on your studies.* Sex doesn't really add any fun to a relationship. It's enjoyment can last, at most, for 30 minutes but it's consequence can last for a lifetime. Think of STDs, pregnancy or abortion. *It is unwise to sacrifice your education for sex.*
*Ama Serwaa: Counselor, thank you for the advice. But I want to know who you really are.*
*Counselor FENYI:* My name is *Mr. Daniel Fenyi.* I'm a counselor and a public speaker. My specialities are relationship, education and career choice. Call or Whatsapp me on *+233242937017* for counselling.
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